Last September, I made some bold predictions. In the fine tradition of SNN Predicts, it's time to see how badly I screwed the pooch. Remember, no part marks for having two teams reversed!

1. Detroit - I've given up on predicting their fall from grace, because it's never going to happen. Besides, they now have two mediocre teams and two awful teams to beat on this year, which means they should rack up the points like there's no tomorrow. They won't challenge their own record of 132 points, but they could easily top 120.

Actual Finish: 1st
In Hindsight: So they didn't top 120. Whatever. The real shocking bit is that the Wings built their awesome record on the backs of conference opponents, and barely played to even within their supposedly inferior division. I'm actually very interested in seeing how the Central shakes out next year, because it seems like Chicago, St. Louis, et. al. have found a chink in the Wings' armour, thanks to having had 24 cracks apiece in the last three years.

2. San Jose - One of these years, they've got to put it together, right? But whereas the Wings will get a lot of points from clubbing the baby seals of their division, the Sharks will probably make a lot of hay outside their division, as they still have to contend with Anaheim and Dallas, who will not go away quietly.

Actual Finish: 2nd
In Hindsight: Wow, two for two. The Pacific, surprisingly wasn't actually a three-way contest to see who could pound the pinatas of Phoenix and LA for the most candy, but a four-way context to see who could most egregiously eviscerate the Kings, the only team with a losing record within the division. Outside the division, on the other hand, the Sharks had the best record against the Central and second-best, behind Dallas, against the NW. Check and check.

3. Colorado - While the Northwest is still pretty well matched, there does seem to be an early clear-cut favourite, and that is the Avalanche. They've got enough guns to make three scoring lines; so long as Peter Budaj doesn't pull a Ty Conklin, and forget how to play goal over the offseason, the Avs should win the division, though as always, it won't be nearly as easy as it looks like it really should be.

Actual Finish: 6th
In Hindsight: I don't feel too bad about this, because (a) the Avs had copious injuries, an Edmontonian level of them, to key players, and (b) still only finished three points back of Minny for the division. The real shocker here is that it was Zombie Jose Theodore, not Peter Budaj, who carried the team into the second round before returning back to Earth. Need I point out that it was a contract year?

4. Anaheim - I know there are some concerns about their scoring depth with Teemu Seleanne and Scott Neidermayer both contemplating retirement (yes, still), and Dustin Penner off to Edmonton, but I figure if they could keep up with the conference in '06 without Pronger or Good Getzlaf, they can probably manage in '08.

Actual Finish: 4th
In Hindsight: In spite of some of the moves made by NHL Executive of the Century Brian F. Burke -- Todd Bertuzzi, Ilja Bryzgalov, Andy MacDonald/Doug Weight -- the Ducks held their own, largely thanks to the return of the aforementioned prodigal sons. While it shouldn't come as a total surprise, Earl Sleek's post here pretty well proves that the Ducks are indeed at their best when all three of Niedermayer (whose name I can't spell for the life of me), Selanne, and Pronger are in the line-up and contributing. Actually, they're kinda fucking scary when that happens.

5. Dallas - They kind of inherit this spot by default thanks to Nashville's firesale, because really, the Stars haven't done jack to improve on their anaemic offence from last year, yet still have the epic (?) goaltending battle between Marty Turco and Mike Smith to keep things "interesting." And win them a fuckton of shootout games, again.

Actual Finish: 5th
In Hindsight: So their offence actually did improve, putting them in the top ten for real goals, on the back of Mike Ribiero's unbelievable shooting percentage and a healthy year from Brendan Morrow. The goaltending was good, too, though the Stars were a pedestrian 5-3 in shootouts, which was kind of weird, considering that's normally where they will school you every damned time.

6. Minnesota - Steady as she goes is the Minnesota mantra. It's not exciting, but it wins hockey games, and it kept the Wild in contention for the division for most of the season, and I see no reason why it wouldn't keep working this year. God knows Jacques Lemaire can make almost any goalie look good, so if you're going to break in two goalies with less than fifty NHL games between the two of them, Minny isn't a bad place to give them some confidence.

Actual Finish: 3rd
In Hindsight: Not a real surprise here. Minny was boring. Minny's goalies did well for a couple of kids. Minny won the division by default, because everyone was crap and/or ridiculously injured for a ridiculous amount of time. Moving on.

7. St. Louis - I'm going to go out on a limb here and give the Murrayites a ticket to the dance. They probably won't win more than two games once they get there, but this club has done a lot of things right since John Davidson took over, and this is the year we start seeing this.

Actual Finish: 14th
In Hindsight: Oh boy, did I ever miss here. Up until now, I had done alright, but from here on out, there's the definite stench of epic fail. First up, we have Brad Boyes and Keith Tkachuk scoring 70 goals between them, and no other combination of two besting 35. Other factors that tie in here: the NHL's worst power play by percentage and second-worst by GD/60, and some of the worst backup goaltending in the League -- Legace had a respectable 2.40 GAA but the team finished in the bottom third of goals-against, which should give you a hint what happened when he wasn't in net.

8. Vancouver - Take that, Calgary! Anyway, while I'd like to think that a one-line team with an excellent goaltender would still miss the damned playoffs, I have yet to see any evidence that this is an established hockey fact. "Bobby Lou" will make his team and his coach look way better than they are. Also, the Canucks' defence will bore us to tears.

Actual Finish: 11th
In Hindsight: I should mention here that there was actually a three-way tie for ninth, with Edmonton's 41 wins besting Chicago's 40 and Vancouver's 39. Now, with that stated, it turns out a one-line team with an elite goaltender actually can miss the playoffs, if said goaltender has a human stretch. Everything else I said, though? Bang on. Luongo made that team look better than they were, and they were, as a general rule, boring as hell to watch. Well, except that one game where Hemsky and Kesler were at each other all night with sticks, every single player was finishing their checks hard, and ended with three line brawls in the last 40 seconds. That was fucking awesome, even if the Oilers lost.

9. Edmonton - About six weeks ago, I went on Fox Sports' Puck Podcast and said that the Oilers would not make the playoffs. I stand by that, especially with several more key players from '06 gone (Smyth, Smith, and for the sake of argument, Pisani), but now there's concrete cause for hope, which there was not a month ago. This will still be a rebuilding team, and they will probably still suffer their annual mid-winter slump, but I think the Oil will be competitive until the end, which I don't think I would've been willing to say before. I will not, however, go so far as to predict 30 goals and a Calder nomination for Andrew Cogliano, though if that does happen (or if Pisani makes a Saku Koivu-like return in the last month of the season), feel free to swap Vancouver and Edmonton.

Actual Finish: 9th
In Hindsight: That was actually stunningly close, now that I look back on it, except the mid-winter slump came two months early. I had no idea Gagner was gonna stay up the whole year, nor that Pisani would come back after missing only 26 games -- and he was vomiting up internal organs as recently as August. This was definitely a rebuilding year, but one that you can really, you know, build on, not just a lame euphemism for "we played like shit." That last stretch of 30 games was inspiring in a way that was surprisingly not unlike the playoff run, if only because there was that us against the world feeling, and the realization with a few games left that "holy shit, we might actually do this." Close, but no cigar, but it was damned fun while it lasted.

10. Los Angeles - The Kings made a lot of nice moves here, but their goaltending has been uninspiring through training camp. Even if they go with the best performer, Johnathon Bernier, can he handle the rigours of a real NHL schedule? Or would he become another Marc-Andre Fleury (who's taken a couple of extra years to find his game because of his experiences early on)? While this team is on its way up, I'm seeing another year or two of struggles before the big payoff.

Actual Finish: 15th
In Hindsight: "Struggles" is putting it lightly. Defensive ineptitude, a goaltending carousel that was not entirely the fault of starter Jason LaBarbera, and weak offensive depth, injuries, the exact wrong mix of youthful inexperience and over-the-hill lameness...what didn't this team have? Oh, and they've gotten younger and not really better for this season. Uh oh, Kings fans.

11. Calgary - I want to believe that this preseason is an indicator of things to come. I want to believe that Mike Keenan will destroy this team. So, so badly. Of course, as we've established, the hockey gods hate me, so this likely won't happen, but I'm happy to go on believing it anyway. Plus, I'm willing to blow this prediction (and the accompanying one that results from another team losing their spot to the Flames) just out of spite. Fuck. You. Calgary. (And your pretentious flag shoulders, too.)

Actual Finish: 7th
In Hindsight: I was part-right, in that I burned a pick for no adequate reason, other than spite. I also may have been one year early in predicting the Flames' demise, looking at their current roster. I do note with some bemusement that their prize goalkeeper is showing signs of diminishing returns.

12. Nashville - Chris Mason is better than most people realize, but there's just not enough here to think the Preds can overcome the surging Blues. Most of their talent walked out the front door during the Great Firesale of '07, and it's going to take some time for them to get it all back.

Actual Finish: 8th
In Hindsight: I picked the wrong team to come out of the Central, I guess. Chris Mason managed to lose his job to Dan Ellis in record time, and is now in St. Louis. Meanwhile, Barry Trotz continues to prove his worth by taking a younger and less immediately capable lineup back to the playoffs, though it bears pointing out that the team record for playoff wins is still two.

13. Columbus - It's a long way to the top when you're a shitty expansion team that's spent the past seven years treading water, but I think this year will be a start. Ken Hitchcock will make some of these players better, and Scott Howson will take the year to figure out what the hell he's got on his hands, and what he can work with. My guess is "a couple of nice things, but generally not much."

Actual Finish: 13th
In Hindsight: Those couple of nice things didn't turn out to even do the Jackets much good. For the eighth year in a row, Columbus made absolutely no impact on me, and that's probably not a good thing for this franchise, anonymously whiling away the years in last. The fact that they've outlived the two previous major-league entries in the state combined says something about the patience of Columbus fans (and how difficult it is to actually run a team so far into the ground they're forced to fold or pack up and move).

14. Chicago - I'm willing to believe that Johnathon Toews et al will make some kind of a difference, but make no mistake, this is not a playoff team. The real payoff for Hawks fans (all twelve of them, waving flags and wearing Bobby Hull and Jeremy Roenick sweaters to Bill Wirtz's funeral) will come in two or three years. For now, it's about getting the kids a lot of experience at the NHL level, and acquiring more pieces, through the draft and through the trade deadline, to build a proper contender from within.

Actual Finish: 10th
In Hindsight: This team is going to be scary in a year or two. They did some damage this year, as it is, and I think had Toews not been hurt for 20 games, they might have squeezed into the playoffs, finishing just three points out. The real story out of Chicago, though, is the revitalization of the fanbase. In one year, Chicago has gone from the NHL's oldest joke franchise to a rising power to be reckoned with, thanks to the forward-thinking policies of Dollar Bill's son Rocky.

15. Phoenix - So it is written, so it shall be, or however that shit goes. At least the Coyotes are finally admitting to rebuilding, instead of trying to sign every over-the-hill Tom, Dick, and Harry in the NHL. It's gonna suck being a Coyotes fan, but if you live in Phoenix, you're either used to it with the Cardinals, or you don't even know this team exists. Forget the Suns, the Arizona Sting outdraw the Coyotes, and rightfully so, because they're actually a proper championship team.

Actual Finish: 12th
In Hindsight: Twelfth place is perhaps a bit misleading, given that three teams all finished in ninth, but eight points out is eight points out. It's hard to imagine how much worse things would've been if not for Ilja Bryzgalov landing in their laps and kids like Peter Mueller stepping up big-time so Shane Doan finally has someone else who can take the load off. Of course the average Phoenician still has trouble remembering they have a hockey team (and I should know, my best friend is dating one), but a full season of decent goaltending and the addition of more solid young stars, led by Kyle Turris, might actually put this team on the map sometime before Gretzky dies of old age.

So How'd I Do?: Oddly enough, I actually only got nine wrong, so if you picked the under, you win...um, this dirty sock! Actually, I'm generally quite happy with how that turned out (if not for Minnesota and Colorado swapping places, I'd have had eight and felt like a Goddamned psychic). Enough so that I might actually do this all over again in September.

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